A Long-Awaited Homebirth After Loss

History: 4.5 years of trying, 2 miscarriages, 2 ectopic pregnancies (1 x tube rupture and removal), 4 IVF cycles ( 2 x egg collections, 2 x embryo transfers)

The day before I went into labour, I took a long walk on the beach and a bath. I talked with my baby in the bath telling him that it was safe to come now and how much l wanted to meet him.

I felt calm and ready. Every night for the last week I had been experiencing mild contractions that fizzled out by the morning. The next morning at 6am my waters broke as I was waking up. 

I felt a mild period like cramp when this happened. I looked down into the bed and clear waters were pouring out of me, I instantly felt so excited about my plans for the day; birthing my baby. I called out to Tom that my waters broke and rang my midwife. She said to call her when I needed her and to let her know if anything changes. 

About 15 minutes after, I started having mild contractions, about 1 - 2 every 20 minutes. We had breakfast and took the dogs for a walk. It was easy to ignore them at this stage. When we returned I listened to some meditation on my headphones and used some essential oils. I rested on the bed, I wanted to preserve my energy for active labour. 

After a couple of hours I decided to use the fit ball and alternated between leaning over on all 4s and gently rocking.

I decided to have a bath while Tom set our birth space up. The warm water helped keep me relaxed, my contractions still were not that intense. I then moved to the shower and I started vocalising with every contraction and with each one a gush of waters would come out. Tom called Barb at around 12pm and let her know my contractions were 2 - 3 10 lasting a minute. He then called her again at 2:45 as I was now contracting 4 - 5 in 10 and they were getting more intense. She said she would be there at 4pm. 

Barb arrived and greeted me in the shower, ensuring me that all was well and I was doing amazing. She listened to my baby’s heart rate and left me to continue labouring undisturbed. I went through different phases of changing things up, going from the birth ball, tens machine, shower, walking around the house stomping and doing lunges, and practising breathing exercises. 

The contractions kept increasing in intensity. I didn’t have time to think if I was progressing well, my body and mind went into primal mode and I was just doing it. The birth pool got filled up and I couldn’t wait to get in. When I immersed myself in the water it was almost euphoric like instant relief. I stayed in the pool for an hour and rested between contractions as I was feeling drowsy. I requested the Barb check my dilation as I was doubting myself. She said I was 7cm, my cervix was thin and stretchy. 

I was feeling alot of discomfort in my hips and back as my baby was OP. She administered sterile water injections which provided some relief. I then got out of the bath and went to the toilet. I felt an overwhelming sense of doubt in my myself and my hip and back pain was almost unbearable. I started crying and said I wanted to go to hospital for an epidural. It was on my birth sheet for Tom to distract me if I asked for this so he suggested using the TENS again which helped. 

After about half hour I was hysterical and was adamant I wanted to go to hospital. “I can’t do this anymore” I kept saying. Barb offered to check me again and I was 9cm. I had started throwing up, a sure sign of transition. I then started involuntarily pushing, my body took over and I had no control. I decided to stay at home.

I got back into the pool and went with what my body was doing. I tried a few different positions for pushing and put my fingers inside myself to feel my babies head. It motivated me to keep going and feel him moving down. I wanted to get out of the pool and sit on the toilet and stayed here for a few pushes. Then I went over to the lounge room and was squatting which really helped him come down.

I started feeling the burning and stretching of my perineum and vulva, I actually enjoyed that feeling because I knew my baby would be here soon. His head was slowly born followed quickly by his body, Barb supported me to catch my own baby and guided him upto my chest. He came out OP! He was pink, warm and had good tone, he was very calm and didn’t cry straight away. He opened his eyes and looked up at me. Tom was beside me and I looked at him with our baby in my arms and said “we have a son”. 

We moved to the couch with my baby still attached to me and waited for the cord to stop pulsing. I lost about 200ml of blood and had no tearing! I had made a special ceramic bowl to do a cord burning ceremony with my midwife and Tom, and used a cord tie instead of a clamp. 

One midwife checked us over staying with us the whole time, and the other midwife made me tea with honey and snacks while he breastfed. After an hour Tom had skin to skin with him while I had a shower and changed into pyjamas. All three of us were tucked up in bed and Barb weighed and measured him before saying goodbye, leaving us as a new family.